Mar 10, 2008

Life's too fast

Life is moving far too fast. Today Anora woke up wearing pajamas we've had a couple of years now. But in my mind they should come close to dragging on the floor. But no! They just barely cover her knees. That makes me sad.
Add that with Kindergarten round up this month, I'm near hysterics. We have a parent meeting with the elementary school tomorrow, a meeting with her preschool teacher the next week, and in a couple of weeks there is Kindergarten roundup.
Weighing on my mind, and lists, is that I have so much to teach her yet. Zipping her own coat, to tie shoes, even washing her own hair. All needs to be done this summer. I can't believe it was 2 years ago I was worried about potty training before preschool.
I have started running out on her at preschool. I usually take off her hat and coat for her and hang them up for her. She'll have to do that for herself real soon, so I kissed her on the hat today and ran out on her. I peeked, and she did just fine.
I have a lot of conflicting feelings with Kindergarten. And am getting a lot of conflicting opinions too. While I'm excited to see her grow up, I'm worried about the possible rejection of putting her out there in the world. Jeremy asked what's the worse that can happen, they could look at us, laugh and say "you're kidding right, come back next year." She will probably be the youngest in her class if she starts Kindergarten this year. The cut off is 5 years old by Sept 15th I think. She'll be 5 just a couple weeks before that. In fact she'll be 4 when school starts in Aug. I get the opinion, that she'll be fine, she's smart.Then there is the opinion that Kindergarten should be for 6 year olds.
Something relieving a little bit of pressure is that our school district just started a Jump start program like a pre K. I think if they suggest she goes there I'll take them up on it. But what if she gets labeled as dumb or a baby, or a trouble maker. That idea just breaks my heart.
There is the idea that I could keep her home next year and home school her, which I'm getting more confident in. But all of her friends are starting school this year. She is still a little smaller than her classmates, but has made a ton of catching up. She is still quiet, but much better with people she knows now. I wish I could see the future to make choices.
I keep trying to leave all my anxiety with God, but before I know it, I've snatched it back and am rolling it over in my mind again. I'm know I'm over reacting to it all, but It's my little girl, probably the only one I'll have and they're all decisions I don't want to make.

God bless you if you actually made it through all my ramblings.

1 comment:

llfrobish said...

I hate making those kinds of decisions too! I've already started thinking about Kindergarten and Rye's not even 2! At least you are weighing options and actually thinking of ways to improve Anora's experience. So many parents don't care and send their children as soon as they are allowed. I believe that if children have the proper parental support and guidance they will succeed. If you weren't going through the thought processes that you are then I'd be worried. Keep thinking and being proactive. She's not even done with this school year yet. I know Rye makes huge advances in only weeks sometimes. Once school starts again, you can always revise things. Essential nothing is permanent.